


Subtitles, Bro

by aquartertil



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Accents, Languages, M/M, lardo is my hero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 19:26:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquartertil/pseuds/aquartertil
Summary: Everyone is gathered on the green couch (aka the nastiest piece of furniture Bitty has ever seen) to watch Jack’s first NHL game with the Falconers. He doesn't get much ice time but he does get questioned in the post-game interview. And that’s when Bitty loses his shit. Jack is being subtitled.





	Subtitles, Bro

Everyone is gathered on the green couch (aka the nastiest piece of furniture Bitty has ever seen) to watch Jack’s first NHL game with the Falconers. He doesn’t get much ice time, but he does get questioned in the post-game interview, he is a Zimmermann after all. And that’s when Bitty loses his shit. Jack is being subtitled.

Everyone is dying laughing because Jack doesn’t even have that thick of an accent. Sure it’s gotten worse since he left Samwell due to the fact half the team is from Canada and he spent most of his summer in Quebec but aren’t most of the viewers from Canada? Shouldn’t they know what he’s saying?

The best part is: nobody else gets subtitles. Not Snow, or Martin, not even Mashkov. It’s beautiful. Bitty is pretty sure Shitty is crying and muttering something about his “beautiful French-Canadian fucker.” Lardo is sitting there with a satisfied smile on her face. He’ll have to ask about that later.

And it doesn’t stop. Jack goes through his first professional season being subtitled during every interview. And most times, it’s completely unnecessary. He gets subtitles even when he bros out his accent, when he sneezes, and Bitty’s favorite, when they interview him after the Falconers play the Habs. In Quebec. Shitty records it and has several digital and physical copies that he’s given to everyone. Bitty doesn’t question why it’s needed. Bitty doesn’t really question Shitty on most things (he’s too scared of the answer most times).

“Sorry, sweetie, this’ll have to wait ‘til I can get someone to translate,” Bitty says one night when he and Jack are skyping. Bitty can’t keep it up for much longer, Jack's face is just too sad and he can't have that. It's their _special_   Skype night.

The chirps continue even when Jack is done with his season and visits Samwell. Even Ransom pretends to not understand.

“Bro, what did you say? There aren’t subtitles!” Ransom says with a grin.

“Dude, there are words coming out of that beautiful mouth but I have no clue what you’re saying” Shitty chirps.

It goes on like that until Jack says “Fine, no presents then” in a very heavy accent.

“Woah! Man you are coming in loud in clear. That was weird; it was like that one part in Toy Story when Buzz spoke Spanish but nope it’s all fixed now,” Holster says with a pleading smile.

Jack gives him a glare before handing out the presents, which are mostly signed jerseys. Lardo’s and Bitty’s were both in children sizes and the accent chirps were overshadowed by chirps for the two smallest SMH members for the rest of the night. Bitty is "five foot six and a half y'all. I'm not that short."

When the NHL season starts up again, the subtitles are back and better than ever. Bitty eventually asks Lardo what she knows about it. “What makes you think I know anything?” she asks innocently. Lardo never looks innocent, Bitty is definitely suspicious now.

Bitty asks Jack about it when they skype and Jack is clueless too. “They don’t subtitle Snowy and we’re both from Quebec. Maybe it’s because I’m new to the team. I don’t know. It’s something with the networks, I guess. Nothing I can do about it.” (Bitty later finds out Lardo knows the owner of ESPN, who loves her art, and asked him if they could subtitle Jack in exchange for some of her pieces. And he agreed. Lardo is way more powerful and intimidating that Bitty originally thought.)

So another season passes with subtitles and after many tough games, the Stanley Cup is won. Jack is so excited he only speaks French during most of the interviews. The subtitles are most definitely needed this time.

Jack comes out during post-season. His 24 Hours included putting Bitty in the Cup and kissing him. Lardo took a picture and Jack posted it on Twitter with Bitty’s help and the PR Department’s enthusiastic approval. No one could say Jack wasn’t a good player all of a sudden, because _he won the Cup_. Being attracted to men definitely didn’t have any effect on the game, because _he won the Cup_. There was no excuse for disliking him now without being an outright homophobe (which people were, but luckily, most were supportive).

Everyone wanted to know who the cute blonde in the Cup was though. So, Georgia set up an interview not too long after the picture was posted. Bitty can’t believe it but he’s being interviewed by ESPN and SportsCenter. Good thing his dad already knew. (The 4th of July was more than one celebration for the Bittles).

Bitty sets the TV to record the interview and goes to class. He’s so nervous and excited and kinda nauseous but still really excited. He’s gonna be out nationally. No more hiding or lying and Jack gets to do the same.

Bitty knows when the interview airs because the group chat starts to blow up, but he's too scared to check it. When Bitty comes back to the Haus, he’s excited to watch the interview. He honestly doesn’t remember most of it and he hopes he didn’t make a fool of himself.

Bitty starts up the recording and fast forwards past all the commercials and when he hits play, he suddenly understands the flood of messages.

It’s the worst thing he ever expected.

He can’t believe what happened.

He was subtitled.

Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Extra:  
> Bitty: Lardo, did you do this? I thought we were friends??  
> Lardo: Lmao nah bruh that was all you  
> Bitty: WTF my accent isn't that bad  
> Lardo: It is to the rest of the country and the editors apparently. LOL  
> Bitty: Fuck
> 
> I don't know if you can actually bribe a station owner and control subtitles but if anyone can do it, Lardo can.


End file.
